Daily Dose

From An Anthology of Light Verse, edited by Louis Kronenberger

ON AN UPRIGHT JUDGE

In church your grandsire cut his throat;
To do the job he too long tarried:
He should have had my hearty vote
To cut his throat before he married.

-- Jonathan Swift

R-E-M-O-R-S-E

A Brief Summary in Verse of I Think You're Totally Wrong: A Quarrel, By David Shields and ( ? )

The Achilles' of Shields

We could talk about books
Or dine at Chinook's,
Or drink 'til we both have to pee,
Compare Laurel to Hardy
Or just have a party,
But do let's talk about ME!

Well now, at a guess,
We could chat about chess
Or have a quick go at tai chi,
Watch My Dinner With Andre,
Or just do the laundry,
But do let's talk about ME!

If you like we might waltz

While we do some bath-salts,

Have a listen to Bey & Jay-Z,

Critique modern art

Or just read Donna Tartt,

But do let's talk about ME!

ENVOY

As I'm sure you'll agree,

Oh, de tout mon ame, 

I believe it is all about ME!

About Me!  About Me!

Once again, it is ALL about ME!!!

Daily Dose

From A Johnson Reader, edited by E. L. McAdam, Jr. and George Milne

LINES WRITTEN IN RIDICULE OF THOMAS WARTON'S POEMS

Wheresoe'er I turn my view,
All is strange, yet nothing new;
Endless labour all along,
Endless labour to be wrong;
Phrase that time has flung away,
Uncouth words in disarray;
Trickt in antique ruff and bonnet,
Ode and elegy and sonnet.

Part One of Nash It All!

Part Two of Nash It All!

Part Three of Nash It All!

Part Four of Nash It All!

Part Five of Nash It All!

Part Six of Nash It All!

Part Seven of Nash It All!

Daily Dose

From Marriage Lines: Notes of a Student Husband, by Ogden Nash

SUMMER SERENADE

When the thunder stalks the sky,
When tickle-footed walks the fly,
When shirt is wet and throat is dry,
Look, my darling, thats July.

Through the grassy lawn be leather,
And prickly temper tug the tether,
Shall we postpone our love for weather?
If we must melt, lets melt together! 

Daily Dose

From Bed Riddance: A Posy for the Indisposed, by Ogden Nash

ONE THIRD OF A CALENDAR

In January everything freezes.

We have two children. Both are she'ses.
This is our January rule:
One girl in bed, and one in school.
In February the blizzard whirls.
We own a pair of little girls.
Blessings upon of each the head ----
The one in school and the one in bed.
March is the month of cringe and bluster.
Each of our children has a sister.
They cling together like Hansel and Gretel,
With their noses glued to the benzoin kettle.
April is made of impetuous waters
And doctors looking down throats of daughters.
If we had a son too, and a thoroughbred,
We'd have a horse,
And a boy,
And two girls
In bed. 

Daily Dose

From Bed Riddance: A Posy for the Indisposed, by Ogden Nash

PLATITUDINOUS REFLECTION

"A good deal of superciliousness
Is based on biliousness.
People seem to be proud as peacocks
Of infirmity, be it hives or dementia praecox."

Daily Dose

From Good Intentions, by Ogden Nash

THE CANTALOUPE

"One cantaloupe is ripe and lush,
Another's green, another's mush.
I'd buy a lot more cantaloupe
If I possessed a fluoroscope."

Daily Dose

From Good Intentions, by Ogden Nash

ANATOMICAL REFLECTION

"Sally Rand
Needs an extra hand."

Daily Dose

From Good Intentions, by Ogden Nash

MR. HENDERSON

"There goes Leon
Glowing like neon.
He's got an appointment
In somebody's ointment."

Daily Dose

From Everyone But Me and Thee, by Ogden Nash

THE EMMET

"The emmet is an ant (archaic),
The ant is just a pest (prosaic).
The modern ant, when trod upon,
Exclaims, 'I'll be a son of a gun!'
Not so its ancestor, the emmet,
Which perished crying 'Zounds!' or 'Demmit!"

Daily Dose

From Everyone But Me and Thee, by Ogden Nash

THE KIPPER

"For half a century, man and nipper,
I've doted on a tasty kipper,
But since I am no Jack the Ripper
I wish the kipper had a zipper."

Daily Dose

From The Poetry of Ogden Nash

A MAN CAN COMPLAIN, CAN"T HE?

Between the dotard and the brat
My disaffection veers and varies.
Sometimes I'm sick of clamoring youth,
Sometimes of my contemppraries.
I'm old too soon, yet young too long;
Could Swift himself have planned it droller?
Timor vitae conturbat me;
Another day, another dolor.