1) Lists reduce
complex philosophical concepts like “the good” to dumb, even
dangerously oversimplified cliché
– with statements like this one.
2) Almost everyone
is “most like” either Dorothy from the Wizard of OZ, or Jane
Eyre.
3) Cats and dogs are
largely unaware of any ongoing contest for our affections, and,
moreover, cats could give a damn.
4) Everyone's
favorite color is probably a primary, unless we're just being
perverse and or actually love pink, in which case, congratulations,
you are Barbara Cartland.
5) It doesn't matter
how many of the 100 Best Books you've read if that list includes
Harry Potter and you are not eleven years old.
6) No one needs a
reason to call his or her mother on Mother's Day, let alone ten
reasons. (Call your mother.)
7) If you have
either a lease or a mortgage – or a Sugar Daddy --where you should
live has already been settled for the time being.
8) Which Disney
Princess you are is only relevant if and when your lawsuit for
residuals or copyright infringement is actually found to have merit
by a judge.
9) Which tree,
cheese, compact car and or Iggy Azalea song you are does not matter
as you are, in fact, not a tree, a cheese, a compact car nor
an Iggy Azalea song – none of which have thumbs, or a soul.
10) No, you would
not survive the coming ______ apocalypse. That is the very nature of
an apocalypse.
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